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April 05 2018

09:07

orochislayer:

lieutenant-cool-egg:

wanderlustexperience:

the-fandoms-have-fallen:

angryinternnoises:

patrickpotato:

riothrrrley:

gaydisneyprincessofficial:

jokes that will never be funny

  • holocaust jokes
  • fat jokes
  • racist jokes
  • rape jokes
  • transphobic jokes
  • homophobic jokes
  • sexist jokes

jokes that will always be funny

  • “that’s a weird looking dog”
  • mmm whatcha say
  • the audition meme
  • doge 
  • trolling beetles fans
  • dad jokes 

ending long sentences with by fall out boy

Using the lyric “baby seasons change but people don’t”

Also:

  • Severely overestimating a number of easily-countable objects
  • Severely underestimating a number of nigh-uncountable objects
  • Rickrolls

And

• Finding a picture of a weird face and slowly zooming in to dramatic music.

  • Pretending people wearing camouflage are invisible

incorrect units of measurement (i.e. I have like 40 gallons of homework)

calling easily explainable phenomena “witchcraft”

09:06

sisterjudyjudybobudy:

weetbixgod:

hotdadcalendar:

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

Babies have no concept of object permanence

That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read. 

April 04 2018

21:24
21:16
2686 0f4f 500

all-da-fandoms:

nadiaoxford:

I don’t have a hard time believing this.

Crows are incredibly smart, and are not praised enough for the fact they can mimic human voices.

21:14
2708 b04b

sutherlins:

“Let’s live together, Ralphie, for whatever time we got left, marry me why don’t you?”
“Holy shit!”
Marry me Ralphie, make me the happiest son of a bitch in Brooklyn.”

20:50

incorrectcmbynquote:

Elio to Oliver: I’m so jealous of you

Oliver: Why?

Elio: Your boyfriend is way better than mine

Oliver: Oh

[Elio walks away]

Oliver: Wait a minute I’m your boyfriend get back here you little shit

20:47

Regional Gothic

bards-against-hoomanity:

alia-andreth:

Southern

New England

Western

Midwestern

Rocky Mountain

Appalachian

Pacific Northwestern

Southwestern

Alaskan

Florida

20:35
2726 cb31 500
16:46

spellslots:

i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom:

just-pansexual-things:

teaboot:

the-prolefeed:

anarcho-kaibaism:

the-prolefeed:

agentscarters:

anyway jeff bezos could eradicate homelessness. he could literally give each homeless person 100k and it would only take less than .5% of his entire wealth. what the actual god giving fuck

Why do you think they deserve it

Well shelter is a basic need, and would at the very least allow them a place where they can get back on their feet. Food water and shelter are necessary for a healthy body and psychology. There’s also the fact that they’re people too, and a little help goes a long way in making a decent community. There’s plenty of reasons

Yeah they need stuff, but why does every homeless person deserve 0.5% of someone’s income

You have five hundred apples, and just one day to eat them all. 

You pass by a small crowd of hungry children, and decide you’d rather 455 apples go rotten than give them to some snotty brat who isn’t your problem.

It doesn’t matter how hard you’ve worked for your 500 apples, or that you aren’t the parent of any of those kids. in the moment you decide to walk away, it doesn’t matter why they’re hungry, or who owes who what.

You had the opportunity to help people, you had the ability to help people, you had the resources to help people. You had everything you needed to make a small, tiny little difference in someone’s life, and you decided not to.

What are you going to buy in your lifetime that’s worth more to you than your own humanity?

What are you going to buy in your lifetime that’s worth more to you than your own humanity

Reblogging for the very, very important lesson

also, jeff bezos does not deserve $124,000,000,000. no individual “deserves” the amount of money that this man has. every individual deserves the things they need to live. 124 billion dollars is disgusting excess. in conclusion, i hate jeff bezos and all other billionaires.

16:45

puddletumbles:

elliebeanz:

ppl who hate wearing socks to bed what have U got to lose?? why deny urself warmth and comfort??

but me feets overheats

16:42
2762 ea41 500

margautshorjian:

here’s me (a feeling of guilt always renewed)

16:32

nicotinerampage:

telemiscommunication:

telemiscommunication:

Fairy World?

image

Scary World

image

You’re not that scary.

image

Well, here’s a picture of your grandma’s feet! 

image

It burns! 

image

Fairy World?

image

Hairy World.

image

Dairy World?

image

Hairy World.

image

Oh, darn it!

image

you know you’ve seen that show too many times when you read all that in their voices.

16:29

interstellarvagabond:

jomjjeoro:

hey guys. this is my invention. check it out

listen no matter how depressed I am whenever this post shows up on my dash I fucking lose it I just laugh so hard, it’s such a good post. The way it’s presented? Soap on a sink nozzle, okay clearly this is some sort of handwashing appliance. Then there’s just water going everywhere no further explanation it’s so good I’m so happy

16:27
2835 d19b

azriona:

sarah-the-artiste:

leafquake23:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

miketooch:

notkingkong:

this gets funnier every year 

The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.

U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME

OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didn’t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.

oh my god

#why didn’t you finish cleaning your room?#IDK MOM WHY DIDN’T YOU FINISH THE RON/DRACO MERMAID AU? 

( @mrv3000 )

16:16
16:03

afloweroutofstone:

autumnal-palinode:

afloweroutofstone:

afloweroutofstone:

“Russia is European” “No, Russia is in Asia”

Have you considered: there is literally nothing justifying Europe and Asia being two different continents in the first place 

image

You’re right, I forgot that we arranged our continents by mountain ranges, I had to look at my world map again

image

did you make this just to be petty

Everything I have ever done has had being petty as the goal

16:01

garbage-empress:

omegajako:

historical-nonfiction:

Bugs Bunny accidentally transformed the word nimrod into a synonym for idiot because nobody got a joke where he sarcastically compared Elmer Fudd to the Biblical figure Nimrod, a mighty hunter.

Etymology is ridiculous and terrifying sometimes

Bugs Bunny is more powerful than God

15:52

thecringeandwincefactory:

nentuaby:

original: https://twitter.com/Manda_like_wine/status/977299937963765761

My god this is applicable to so many situations: this is in no way a WE situation.

15:51
2897 23de

-rhiannon-:

titenoute:

astral–nymph:

scarecrow-hero:

world-of-lang:

starkara:

starkara:

if you’re a (mostly) bald cartoon dude you have to wear this color scheme

#you forgot aang (michymouses28)

FUCK ur right

what is this weird trope..the color coded bald dude cult

IT’S HAPPENING

IT GOT BETTER

SAVE HIM

They all seem to be wearing a primary triad color scheme, and primary colors usually signify that a person is the protagonist/hero of some sort. I haven’t watched all of those shows so I’m not sure if I’m just taking a shot in the dark or anything hahah

15:50
2909 eff5 500
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